Thoughts of Gender Creeping Into My Brain!

   In my last Power and Religion class of this semester, I found myself thinking about the gendered way we all see the world.  The student sitting next to me was speaking about how he hoped one day our society would be able to make decisions based on logic and reason without emotion.  He felt that emotion clouded our decisions in negative ways.  (In class, we have discussed how emotion plays a huge role in how we all make decisions and how we all see the world.)
   As he was talking, I wanted to ask the question: Is our disdain for allowing emotion to impact our decisions sexist?  Why do we disvalue emotion so much?  Everyone in our culture knows that women are supposed to be more emotional.  I'm still not convinced of that, but even if it is so...why is that bad?  Why would we want to make decisions without our emotions?

Will I Be Pretty?

I am in love with this awesome spoken word by Katie Makkai.  She speaks of the negative effects of teaching girls that they should desire to grow up and be pretty.

Brave

Here is a trailer from Disney Pixar's newest movie coming out this summer Brave.  It seems that it will be very different from other disney movies.  The main princess character rejects her role as a prize to be won, and goes on a new adventure.  In doing so, she breaks out of the gender roles and stereotypes that have been placed on women by their typical Disney princess movies.  I am excited to see if this movie will be an empowering one for children and girls specifically.  

Here is another trailer...this one shows her "winning her own hand" in marriage.  

The Forced Choices and Confusion of A Young Feminist

       Lately, I find myself more sensitive when gender and sex pops up in discussions.  I have also been more aware about the differences between the way women and men act, and how these actions are interpreted.  Honestly, I feel kind of worn down by all of my observations.
      I find that I am quicker to speak out against the objectification of women, more frustrated when their is opposition to my words, and more confused by how to react when I see women subjecting themselves to being objectified.
       Last night, I went to the Crawfish Boil music festival.  When Snoop Dog was performing, the crowd was going crazy.  I was enjoying myself at the beginning of the show as well.  Then I realized that the three women dancers slowly began wearing less and less with each costume change.  These women were extremely talented dancers.  They had obviously had a lot of training and spent a lot of time investing in their art.  Yet, most of their dances were very sexual and explicit.  The songs that they were dancing to were focused around the pleasure that men get from women.  I had a lot of mixed feelings about this experience.
       On the one hand, these women were embracing their sexuality.  They probably really wanted to be dancers for such a prolific rap artists.  On the other hand, was there something inherently male-centered about their sexuality?  Were their desires to be performing in this way created by our patriarchal culture that emphasizes male pleasure in sex?  If these women had lived in culture that valued women for not only their sexuality, but their entire persons...would these songs and dances look differently?
      I seem to have great difficulty navigating these experiences, when I realize that some forms of oppression might be in place.  I struggle because it is usually in an environment intended for fun and play.  It seems to always occur when I am hanging out with my friends, and I do not think that this is because my friends are overtly, consciously sexist.  They are all very pro-woman empowerment and consider themselves feminists.  Yet, I keep on finding myself in situations where I do not know how to respond.
      The other night, I was at a bar with a band playing.  The lead singer said some comment about the song and women's panties.  I was a little suprised by the statement, and I had only caught half of it.  I was not even really offended, but I asked the group in a dramatic way, "What did he just say?"  One of my friends then told me not to get offended and react in that way.  He was quick to bring up the objectification of men, and I was very resistant to everything that he said.  Now this friend is a very progressive guy.  He is not sexist, but at that moment I felt very upset.  I was upset, because his argument about the objectification of men was very similar to the way that people write off feminist concerns by saying that men are oppressed too.  I think another piece of it was that in telling me not to get offended, he was telling me not to speak out for myself.  Now in this group of people, there was two guys and three girls.  The girls were all in agreement with me, but because they are somewhat quieter than the guys I felt like I was in the minority.
      Looking back on this, it seems that this is a perfect example of how internalized oppression plays out in our world.  I don't think that it is the fault of my male friends, but I think it is a huge problem.  It brought up questions about the best ways to engage in dialogue with people.  I do not know how to bridge this gap to explain to well-intentioned people where I am coming from and how I feel about my experiences.  I especially do not know how to do this in a short, hopefully light hearted encounter at a bar.
      All of this reminds me of the Purim holiday within Judaism that was discussed in Esther.  I wonder if women ever felt oppressed by the light hearted nature of the reversal of all roles.  I wonder if they ever became more bold about their disdain for such roles only to be quieted by men who were their friends and loved ones.  It seems like such fun, light hearted situations like that are the times where I feel the most pressure to just make compromises and let potentially harmful culture exchanges happen.  When I make these compromises, my friends and I all have more fun.  I do not feel isolated.  It makes a lot of things better, but it perpetuates the existing culture.  What a trade off I feel I am forced to make, in some ways it is between friendship or dignity.

Modern Day Male Privilege

   In class we oftentimes discuss the oppression that women had to face during the times of the ancient Hebrew people.  Occasionally, our conversation turns to more current issues of gender and sex equality.  A friend sent me this article that lists various forms of male privilege.  I found it to be very true from my own personal experience of the world.


Here is the link to the male privilege article.
http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/

Good Marketing?

Dr. Pepper's new drink, Dr. Pepper 10, has been presented for the slogan, "It's not for women."  The goal behind this slogan was to tap into the group of male buyers who have been discouraged from buying diet drinks, because they are "girly".  What I am wondering is, why would Dr. Pepper want to make 51% (the female population) of buyers angry about their company in general?

Don't Be A Girl About It by Kelly Clarkson...way to go Kelly

Any chance you get to play the worn out pity card
Any opportunity to push my buttons hard
It's getting old, your 'poor me' thoughts
Believe me boy when I say 'so what'
This broken record thing has got to stop
I'm losing interest in your pillow talk

And oooooooh it's not looking good
And oooooooh I'm not in the mood
And oooooooh I can't get through
To you oooooooh

[Chorus]
Don't be a girl about it
'Cause I didn't say yes
Don't be a girl about it
'Cause I wouldn't pretend
Don't be a girl about it
Now you're whining again
Don't be a girl about it
You're such a girl about it

And oooooooh I'm sleeping with the enemy oh oh!
And oooooooh I'm counting sheep while you're in love

[Kelly Clarkson]
Now you're up in arms because I say we're not working out
You wonder if I loved you from the start well I tell you what
I knew a guy who changed my world
And then he grew to a little girl
This metamorphoses is just too much
You're crossing lines that I just can't let go of

And oooooooh it's not looking good
And oooooooh I'm not in the mood
And oooooooh I can't get through
To youuuuu oooooooh

[Chorus]
Don't be a girl about it
'Cause I didn't say yes
Don't be a girl about it
'Cause I wouldn't pretend

Men Can Stop Rape

MCSR is a non-profit advocacy group working with adolescent boys and young men to put a stop to the aspects of American culture that makes rape such a huge problem.  They deem everything from harmful ideas about masculinity to cat-calling girls "rape culture."  In addition to this, they work to create a new culture of respect and equality between men and women.

http://www.mencanstoprape.org/

Boy Meets A Compulsively Heterosexual World

     As I was watching tv waiting for a friend to finish getting ready, this episode of "Boy Meets World" came on depicting an unaccomplished, incompetent Cory and Shawn.  As Cory is blaming their "failure" on the Jocks at the school for taking all of the girls, he is approached to join the wrestling team.  During this interaction, Cory is given three thing for joining the team: 1. the Letterman jacket 2. the uniform 3. a girl.
   Through Cory and Shawn's dialogue it is clear that in order to be accomplished and competent in the adolescent setting, boys must "have" girls.  The Jocks are the cause of Cory and Shawn's failure is the Jock's taking away all of the girls, not their amazing success in academia, athletics, or drama.  The ways in which Cory becomes a part of the wrestling team is by receiving a jacket, uniform, and a girl.  It is as if becoming an athlete is as much about ownership of females as actually playing the sport.

Boy Meets World - The Thrilla in Phila Part 1